I carry your heart.

Today my love, my heart and my hero turns 50.

Gene Strother is one of the most intelligent and wise men on the earth. I would not have carried this cross with zeal had it not been for his resounding presence in my life. He whispered truth into my soul in the deepest valleys and sang louder than anyone else on every mountaintop.

I look to him for acceptance... I look to him for guidance... and I look to him for love. Yet, with every need I have, his character exceeds them all and provides so much more than I could of asked for or wanted.

He has become my knight, rescuer and teacher under the rule of Christ.

Dad, I love you. Happy 50th Birthday. Wherever you go, I go... and wherever I find myself in life, your heart beats in mine.

I carry your heart with me,

I carry it in my heart.

I am never without it, anywhere I go you go my dear,

And whatever is done by only me, is your doing, my darling.

I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet.

I want no world, for beautiful, you are my world, my true.

And it's you whatever a moon has always meant,

and whatever a sun will always sing is you.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows,

here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;

which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide.

And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart...

I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

-EE Cummings

I love to hear you say...

Who I am is quite enough.

Twenty-eight years has come and almost gone... yet somehow I still feel like the little girl (holding onto the tiny crutches) flying through the playground, trying with all of her might to keep up with everyone else.

Strange how life will just happen without giving you fair warning to prepare. The past two years have packed an inexplicable amount of lessons in life, love and loss. In summary: I launched a career in dialysis, moved away from home, learned I am no cook, moved back home, accepted the fact that I am no cook and went through my first real relationship... yes, I know... it happened.

The girl you've loved for so long... and prayed for even longer... well, she fell in love.

I always imagined if a relationship ever came to fruition in my life, that would be the ultimate gift Christ could ever bestow... And while it was a precious gift, it just wasn't the truth.

The only difference now between me and the little girl is the illusion has slowly disappeared and Christ has moved in, revealing that even the deepest desires of my heart cannot be satisfied by anyone but Him... and I know this more fully 28 years later.

So today I am able to say, there is none like Him... and I can say it with full assurance. No job, no location, no spouse or friend will ever amount to the love, acceptance and beauty of Christ.

Family and dearest friends: Thank you. Thank you for loving me all this time. Thank you for listening to the deep laments of a woman in a broken body. Thank you for supporting my journey through never quite understanding this cross... but praying me through all of my pain, my questions and my joy.

Jesus: As long as You give the strength, my crutches and I are ready to go. You are everything. Thank you for the difficult lesson of learning there is none like you... thank you for breaking me, so I might be found beautiful.

And thank you for saying it is quite enough.